Compare fit before price, then compare costs in writing. Visit more than once, watch how staff treat residents, and ask what the monthly rate covers and what happens if funds run out. A lower price can cost more if the community does not fit and your parent has to move again.
Emiley Rios helps moms and families navigate upsizing, downsizing, and major life transitions, and she has a background in senior living. She shares a story from her work. A Spokane family chose the least expensive senior living option because they were afraid of running out of money. Within three months, their mom was asking to go home every day. The environment did not fit her, and the community did not reflect who she was. The family moved her again and paid the transition costs twice.
Emiley's observation from walking families through these moves is that the cheapest option is rarely the most affordable one in the long run. That is her experience, not a statistic. The questions below come from published guidance from Washington's Department of Social and Health Services (DSHS) and the Alzheimer's Association, which are linked at the end.
What Should You Ask About Cost Besides the Monthly Rate?
Ask for the rate in writing, then ask what it covers and what could change, because the rate alone does not show what you will pay.
Question to ask | What to find out |
|---|---|
What is the basic rate? | The rate for room, board, and services, in writing |
What does the rate cover? | Which services are included and what extra services cost |
How can the rate change? | How and when rates can increase |
What are the payment and refund policies? | Including what happens if someone leaves mid month |
Does the community accept Medicaid? | Whether it accepts Medicaid and allows a later transfer to Medicaid |
What happens if private funds run out? | The discharge policy, including discharge triggered by behavior changes or financial circumstances |
Our suggestion is to ask every community the same questions and write down the answers, so you are comparing the full picture and not only the first number you hear.
How Do You Know if a Community Fits Your Parent?
Check whether daily life there matches your parent's routines, interests, and needs. Ask whether care times, mealtimes, and daily schedules can be flexible for the individual, whether residents can bring familiar items such as photos, bedding, or a favorite chair, and whether activities match their interests and abilities. Also ask about religious services, special diets, food, pets, visitor policies, and the social atmosphere among other residents.
Our suggestion is to write down what makes your parent who they are before you tour: their routines, what they enjoy, what they eat, and who they spend time with. Bring that list and compare each community to it. Dignity is not a luxury item, and this is where it shows up in daily life.
What Should You Watch for on a Visit?
Visit more than once, at different times of day, and watch how staff treat residents. Plan a first visit, then one or two unannounced visits, including at mealtimes, and talk with staff, residents, and families. Watch whether personal care is done with respect and dignity, whether residents appear comfortable and involved, and whether an activity on the schedule is actually happening during your visit. Ask for the most recent state inspection report, and for references from former residents or their families.
What Does Washington Say About Residents' Rights?
Washington's long term care resident rights law says residents should be treated with courtesy and have a meaningful chance to make reasonable decisions about their own lives. RCW 70.129.005 states the Legislature's intent that choice, participation, and privacy support residents' self worth and quality of life, and it describes a goal of a safe, clean, comfortable, and homelike environment where residents can use their personal belongings as much as possible. The law aims to give residents the same basic rights across settings, including assisted living facilities and adult family homes. The statute does not use the word dignity, but it addresses it through courtesy, autonomy, and privacy. DSHS notes that residents have legal consumer rights, which the home should explain to you.
What if the Move Is Not Working?
Give your parent time to adjust, raise concerns with the administrator, and ask for help if you are not getting answers. DSHS suggests expecting a few weeks of adjustment after a move and raising concerns with the administrator. The Long Term Care Ombudsman Program advocates for residents. Our suggestion is to take it seriously if your parent keeps asking to go home, and to revisit the questions about fit above before making another change.
Frequently Asked Questions
Should we join a waiting list early? The Alzheimer's Association suggests asking each community about room availability and considering joining a waiting list early.
Do we need a lawyer before move in? The Alzheimer's Association suggests consulting an elder care lawyer before move in if Medicaid may be needed later, and DSHS suggests an attorney who knows Medicaid. This is general information, not legal advice.
How Can Emiley Help Spokane Families?
Emiley can help you organize the decision before you tour, and then help with the home when you are ready. She helps clients find the right home for every stage of life, with a background in senior living and a commitment to compassionate service. If you are not sure where to start, reach out to Emiley first. She can share her Care Planning Checklist to help your family organize next steps, and her Understanding Senior Care Levels guide when you are ready to compare options.
Questions about the family home can come later, and when they do, we are glad to help. You can meet the team to get in touch, or read about selling with our team if a sale is ever on your mind.
About the Author
Emiley Rios is the team lead and co-founder of Rios & Co. at eXp Realty, serving Spokane, Washington, and North Idaho. Ranked among the top 1% of local REALTORS®, she specializes in helping moms and families navigate upsizing, downsizing, and major life transitions. With a background in senior living and a commitment to compassionate service, Emiley helps clients find the right home for every stage of life.
This article is for general informational purposes and does not constitute medical, legal, tax, or financial advice. Costs, contract terms, and resident rights vary by community and change over time.
